


The Prince and The Gladiator

by MarbleFox



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gladiators, Background Relationships, Blood and Gore, F/F, F/M, Fear of Death, Gladiator!Jean, Historical Accuracy, Historical Inaccuracy, Jean Has Flashbacks, Killing, M/M, Marco Tries To Help, Marco is a Sweetheart, Murder, Night Terrors, Nightmares, POV Jean Kirstein, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prince!Marco, Rape/Non-con Elements, Shields, Slavery, Spears, Swordfighting, Swords, Violence, Weapons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-07-16 11:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 17,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7267120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarbleFox/pseuds/MarbleFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean has been a slave to the Roman Empire for as long as he can remember. He's 16 now and fights his fellow slaves and wild animals in the coliseum for the entertainment of the Roman townspeople. He doesn't want to fight. He doesn't want to die. He just wants to live. Things change when the prince comes to see a Gladiator fight for the first time.</p><p>***MAJOR WRITING BLOCK. UNSURE OF NEW CHAPTERS...***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter will be a teaser until I get a better grip on the ancient Roman way of life. (Hell, I don't even know if they had a royal bloodline or not.) So, this is what I'll start off with.

A hard kick to the chest would do it. The breath in my lungs left me and I fall onto my back, gasping for air as my chest burned. My opponent, which happens to be one of the cell mates from across mine, rises his dagger for the killing blow. This is it. I'm going to die. I don't want to die. I want to live. I don't want to go. Not now.

I barely roll out of the way. The dagger scrapes across my right shoulder, leaving behind a giant, oozing gash. Damn. If I'm going to make it through this let's hope that doesn't get infected.

The blade of the dagger plunges into the dry earth beside me. I take the split second opportunity to get this guy off of me. I plant my feet in the dead center of his chest and push with all of my strength. He almost goes flying as he lands on his back and skids a foot or two. I pull the dagger out of the ground where my opponent left it and I hop to my feet.

The crowd gathered in the stands cheer. They disgust me. Cheering and placing bets on who lives and who dies. All they want to see in bloodshed. They can't summon up the courage to go to war and fight themselves, so they take other people outside of their empire to do it for them in the form of a cruel and sickening performance. They truly disgust me.

My foe weakly gets to his feet. He's more tired than I thought. I grip the dagger tightly and get into a defending stance. I have vowed to everyone in the coliseum and myself that I would not kill unless they are willing to give up their lives. Well, I'm still alive. I guess no one has the will to murder a 16-year-old boy.

The man looks at me with a sorrowful expression. He doesn't want to die, none of us do, but he doesn't want to kill me either. It's a heavy decision that weighs on all of our minds: Die or kill someone who never did us wrong.

The crowd is getting restless and the man makes up his mind. He runs to me. He doesn't sprint, he doesn't shield himself. He just runs. Open and venerable. He chose to sacrifice himself. A noble choice, but I don't want more blood on my hands than there already is.

I meet him halfway. Not only to end this, but to also give the crowd a show. If this looks like a real sacrifice, there will be hell to pay.

I drive the dagger through the side of his neck and yank it out. Blood sprays my face and chest as he falls to the ground. The crowd roars. I have won again. Many people have probably won generous amounts of money for my victory today.

And what do I win?

Another day to live in pain and sorrow. More time to live in fear of being forced to fight or perform demining acts of passion.

Another day to think about all the lives I have taken.

That's how the coliseum works, that's how it's always worked.

My wrists are bound in shackles once again as the guards walk me down to the cells. My wound is inspected and given a few stitches and a tourniquet. Then cold water is poured on me to rinse the fresher blood off. I show no emotion throughout this routine. No emotion, no more beatings than necessary.

I'm escorted into my cell. I sit down on the old wooden bench and the guards lock the cell door. I share my tiny cell with four others: Reiner, an extremely well built man. He's crushed people's heads in with just his hands. Bertholdt, the tallest person I have ever seen. I don't know what he does but he somehow pulls through. Eren, the most annoying guy I've ever met. He's a rare breed that almost lives for the kill, until he comes to his senses and realizes what he's done. And lastly, there's Levi. The complete opposite of Bertholdt, he's the shortest gladiator in the coliseum. But what he lacks in height, he makes up for in speed. He really is a worthy foe. 

And then there's me. Just a young kid with a French name. The only thing I've ever done was shout out to the whole coliseum that I won't kill anyone because I was forced to. God, did I get one hell of a beating for that.

"So, another man falls at the hands of Jean."

I half-glare at Eren. Even though he's barely whispering, I could still hear him. If he talks too loud, we'll all be in for it.

And that's all that was said for the rest of the night. We all just sat and thought silently until sleep claimed us.

I haven't had a good dream in about two years. Nightmares haunt me. Because after all.....

.....dreams are for the free.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a bit of an awkward ending mostly because I don't know when to stop and I didn't what to write more. I know, I'm lazy.

I wake up to the all too familiar sound of swords against barred doors. I immediately sit up and give the guards my full attention. One of them looks through the bars to see if we're all awake. I look to my left and see that Eren is still asleep on the ground. The guard unlocks the cell and drags Eren out by his ankle. He's definitely up now. The guard slams the door and pulls Eren past our cell while another guard comes and holds the door closed. The only sounds that are made are the pained wails of Eren and other prisoners being beat on by multiple guards.

Eren is thrown back in our cell a few minutes later along with three loaves of bread and a bucket of water. Breakfast is served.

The guard that took Eren points at him and sneers, "You where lucky today, boy." He then looks to me, "I hear you're the most bet on Gladiator. Well, you better put on one hell of a show today because it's a very special occasion." I watch as he walks away and I have half a loaf hit me on the side of the head. Obviously Levi's doing. He's not one for subtleness.

My mind keeps reeling around the guard's words. I knew I was the most bet on, I could tell from the cheers of the crowd. What was the special occasion? Was it some odd Roman holiday? Do they kill off more Gladiators for this holiday? I guess I'll have to find out later.

I'm still trapped in my thoughts when the door opens and startles me. Is it midday already? The guard binds my wrists in shackles and leads me out of the cell. Another guard disappears into my cell and comes back out with Reiner. What? They never pin two Gladiators from the same cell against each other. Did they choose Reiner for his immense strength? Do they think I have no chance for his power?

Do they want me dead that much?

No, that's not it. They must think I'm powerful enough that I need a stronger opponent. They could care less if I live or die.

My shackles are removed as I'm fitted for armor. Today I am given a generous amount: A back plate, almost an entire sleeve for me right arm, shin guards, and a dirty silver helm with a pitch black plume. I've never been given a helm before. It must be some event for me, a lowly Gladiator, to even have a plume upon my crown.

Two racks of various shields and weapons are placed nearby two opposing entrances. Shields are hardly given to us, especially an array. What kind of holiday is it?

The guard shoves me to my entrance into the arena. The crowd roars once they see me. Reiner appears a moment later. He is also armor-clad: Two sleeves with a partial chest price, a more flexible piece of metal wrapped around his abdomen, and a neck guard. So that's it. My last kill was a blow to the neck. His last kill must have been a blow to the head. They gave us more armor to make this fight more interesting. To make it harder. To make it longer.

Booming notes are played from metal-belled instruments. What is going on?

The guard behind me jabs me in the side. "Bow," he whispered, "bow to the emperor and his family."

I lower myself to one knee and look up to see the emperor, his wife, and their children enter in the lower stands. The emperor himself was your typical Roman. His main characteristic was his serpent-like eyes. Eyes that would strike fear into the hearts of anyone who dared to look into them. His wife was completely different from her husband. Her skin a few shades darker than his, was covered in spots. A person with the markings of a leopard? Her face was soft around the edges and her eyes were kind. A truly beautiful woman. Both children had her patterned skin, but the son had his mother's aura. He had those same warm brown eyes as her. I wish I met a person as kind as those eyes appear to be. And lastly, the daughter. She had her father's serpent eyes and menacing features. Her dark hair was back in a crude ponytail. She seemed more masculine than feminine. She smiled wickedly into the arena and her eyes landed on me.

I have never lowered my head quicker.

A big booming voice, that was obviously the emperor, cut through the air. "Rise my subjects," I took that as a queue to stand. "As most of you might know, today is my son's birthday. So may these noble Gladiators give him an amazing display." The crowd roared and my stomach turned.

Noble.

The guard gestured at the weapons rack for me to choose.

Noble.

I grab a bronze Parma shield and a double-edged sword. Reiner chose a hard, wooden Cetratus shield and a spear. A gong rang and the fight officially begins.

Noble.

Reiner and I charge each other. He immediately raises his spear and I prepare my shield to block. I really should give my full attention to Reiner but my mind is trapped by one word.

Noble.

The emperor called us noble.

Us, the abused Gladiators whom are forced to fight and die for entertainment.

He called us noble.

Reiner's spear makes contact with my shield. I whip it away and start slashing at him. He dodges some of them, the rest leave cuts and minor gashes on his chest. Reiner bulldozes me with his shield. I land on my back like last time. He then straddles my waist and holds my right hand, which yields my sword, to the ground. He then uses the spearhead to skewer my head. I move out of the way every time he brings it down. His biggest mistake was leaving my left hand free. I slam the shield, with all of my strength, into an exposed area of his abdomen. I slide my arm out of the straps of the shield and leave it in his side. Reiner plants the spear into the ground one last time and backs away form me on his knees, blood leaving behind a trail.

I get up and walk to Reiner. He's coughing up blood by what looks like the gallons. He looks up at me with blood staining his chin and tears running down his cheeks. I put my hand on his shoulder to steady him and raise my sword. And he does what I never thought he'd do in the arena. He speaks.

"I'm sorry, Bert...." He coughs up more blood. "I'm sorry I broke our promise.... I'm sorry."

This also beings tears to my eyes. I know exactly what he's talking about. I'm sorry too. I raise my sword higher for the final blow-

"STOOP!!!"

The coliseum goes completely silent and I look up from Reiner. The emperor's son has gotten up from his seat, climbed over the wall between the arena and the stands and is now making his way to us.

What?

Everyone else seems to be in the same state of shock as me because no one stops him. He takes my sword out of my frozen hand and chucks it. He then takes off my helm and the rest of my armor. Why is he doing this? This makes no sense.

He does the same to Reiner except his abdomen. He then gets the guards' attention.

"How much are each Gladiator?"

What? He wants to buy us? But why? Does he want to have us fight for his own entertainment? That's probably it. I wouldn't expect less from a Roman.

"Consider it done. Now take the wounded one to the palace and don't hurt him more than he is already!!!" The guards hurry and carefully take Reiner away. They can be gentle?

"Hey. Hey! What's your name?" Is he addressing me? I look behind me and look back to him. He is addressing me.

"Jean."

"Ok, Jean. You're going to have to calm down and tell me where you sleep."

Calm down? But I am calm. I bring my hand to the side of my face and realize its wet. Tears? I'm crying? I haven't shown emotion for so long I forgot what it felt like.

"Jean?"

I look back at the emperor's son. He looks worried. I start walking in the direction of the cells and wave for him to follow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. 136 hits within 3 days and with only 2 chapters. Am I really that good? Anyway, I have this headcanon that Jean doesn't think before he acts and he second guesses himself a lot and Marco don't take shit. So that's that and there was something else but I forgot so here ya go!

I don't even know why I'm trusting him. He's a Roman. Romans are bloodthirsty. Romans are ruthless. 

Why am I doing this?

I show him my cell. Levi, Eren, and Bertholdt are still inside. Eren looks even worse since this morning and Bertholdt as tears running down his face. His sobs get worse once he sees me.

I've lost track of the emperor's son. When I turn around to look at him, he's gone. I knew I shouldn't have trusted him. My guard is up. It was probably a trick.

"I found th-" I pin him to the wall. He thinks he can sneak up on me? I wrap my hand around his neck and I lift him against the wall. He struggles and makes light gurgling noises. His hands tighten against my arm as an attempt for me to let go.

"What are you intentions?" I sneer at him. I'm in no mood to play games.

He makes another choking noise.

I bring him away from the wall and bring him back to it hard. "FUCKING ANSWER ME!!!"

"I-I want to f-free you and your f-friends." He then looks down to the floor. I follow his eyes and there's a ring of keys on the ground. I let go of his neck and let him fall. He's on his hands and knees as I scoop up the keys and unlock the cell door.

"And what about the rest of them?" I gesture to the rest of the cells, whom are looking at us in confusion and false hope.

"I only happened to save you by chance. I don't have enough power to save the whole coliseum."

"What?"

"I'll tell you on the way to the palace." He leads Levi and Bertholdt, who are carrying Eren on their shoulders, toward the exit. I bring up the rear cautiously, my eyes never leaving the four. Something odd is going on and I'm getting to the bottom of it.

When we walk out into the arena, it's empty. Every single person is gone. That would explain why there where no guards stopping us. The only evidence there was was the mud formed by Reiner's blood. I can't even dare to look at it knowing that I was the cause of it.

Bertholdt's trying so hard to stay together. I know he saw the blood, I know how close he is to Reiner. This is going to be very hard to go through.

He brings us to a carriage of some sort. He and who I presume to be the driver of the carriage help the trio in the cab. The emperor's son waves at me to take his hand. I pass it up and help myself into the carriage.

After we're all settled in, the carriage begins to move. I'm getting restless already.

"Why'd you do it?"

"Will you let me introduce myself first?"

"Why'd. You. Do. It."

"Fine. In my family, my mother has forbidden us from seeing the coliseum fights. My sister, Ymir, didn't like that. So when she was about sixteen, she weaseled her way into a match. And when she came back she told me all about it. She loved it. I don't."

"And how long ago was that?"

"Seven years ago."

"And you didn't do anything then. Hmph. Typical Roman."

I crossed some kind of line there.

"I was FUCKING TEN, YOU BRAINLESS HUNK OF MEAT. I'VE BEEN TRYING EVERYTHING I FUCKING COULD TO NO AVAIL UNTIL TODAY AND IT JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE MY BIRTHDAY!!! AND DAMNED INFORMATION, I AM NOT A PUREBRED ROMAN!!!"

"AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH US NOW, HUH? TURN US INTO YOUR OWN PERSONAL GLADIATORS?! OR HOW ABOUT PERSONAL SLAVES? YOU CAN ABUSE US, TORTURE US, HAVE US DO YOUR SHIT FOR YOU, HAVE YOUR WAY WITH US. YOU NAME IT, WE'VE MOST LIKELY BEEN THOUGH IT!!!"

"BOTH OF YOU BRATS SHUT THE FUCK UP, NOW!!!"

Everyone stares at Levi owl-eyed. He's never spoken two words, let alone screamed before.

"If you two continue screeching like tom cats you're going to attract a lot of unwanted attention."

Levi's right. I lean against the interior of the cab and cross my arms over my chest. The stitches in my arm I forgot about tug a little. 

"I've already had the honor of meeting Jean," I huff at the word 'honor,' the emperor's son ignores me. "My name is Marco."

"The name's Levi, this poor bastard here is Eren.-"

"Hey!"

"-And this is Bertholdt."

"I prefer just plain Bert..."

The mood has lifted significantly. I watch as the emp- Marco makes small talk with everyone. He seems so... kind. There is no way someone can be this thoughtful. I'm snapped out of my thoughts once again when Bert says the question that's been weighing on all of our minds.

"W-Where's Reiner?"

I lean forward, put my elbows on my knees, and place my forehead in the palms of my hands. It's all my fault. Reiner's most likely dead because of me. It's all my fault.

Marco sighs, "Your friend should be at the palace now. My family has an amazing doctor. His wounds are deep and he's lost a lit of blood. There's a good chance he won't make it. I'm sorry."

I keep my eyes to the floor. I've heard enough. Will this ride ever end? I can hear Bertholdt's soft crying. This is all my fault.

About ten minutes later we stop. I haven't moved an inch. I hear shuffling and feel Eren, Levi, and Bert get off.

I feel a hand rest on my shoulder. 

"Jean," Marco shakes me some. "Come on, we're at the palace." He shakes me a bit harder. "Please."

He didn't take my silence well. I'm literally yanked out of the carriage and dragged into the palace. I never thought Marco would be that strong.

When I lay my eyes on the interior of the palace, I am awestruck. Gleaming marble pillars support the ceiling, statues also made of marble are placed elegantly along doorways and corners, and the walls are covered in amazing artwork. I've always admired paintings and sculptures. I've always hoped, someday, I would be able to create delicate works like these.

"Marco!" The emperor's wife cries out in relief from the top of the grand staircase at the other end of the room. Her robes and hair flow gracefully behind her as she rushes down the steps. There is no way this woman is human.

She runs up to Marco and grabs his cheeks, and I mean grabs.

"Don't ever scare us like that! Next time wait for your father's queue before running into the arena like that! You could've gotten hurt!"

A muffled 'I'm sorry, Mother,' comes from Marco and she lets go of his face.

"Are these the ones from the same cell as Reiner?" She asks Marco and he nods. How did she know Reiner's name?

She turns to us. "Welcome home, my warriors. I'm Marco's mother, but you can address me as Lavanya."

Welcome home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH! OH! I REMEMBER NOW! I have another headcanon that Jean's a big baby if you didn't get that from the way he pouted after Levi yelled at him and Marco.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm posting this at 1:00 in the morning. I short-circuited earlier today, er, or should I say yesterday? Whatever, you get what I'm saying. Yeah, I wrote for three days in a row and I kinda went blank until I went to bed. So here I am with chapter four!

"Oh my, you're hurt!" Marco's mother, Lavanya, rushes over to Eren. "What's your name?"

"Eren."

"Eren, you need to rest and recover. Marco? Could you show everyone else around while I take Eren here to bed?"

"No problem," he responds and she leaves with Eren complaining that he's fine. He's been through worse. We all have.

"Alright then, follow me." Marco waves for us to tag along.

The palace is huge. Of course, no surprise but the size is just unbelievable! There are statues and paintings as far as the eye can see. Marco and his family live in this? And supposedly we do too? I can't wrap my brain around this.

"And lastly, but certainly not least, the gardens. This is my favorite place throughout the whole palace. The calm is perfect for thinking, reading, studying, you name it." Marco explains. I barely hear him though. My eyes scan the various plants, pools, and statues until they land on a certain fruit tree.

It's an odd bush-shaped tree with plump, round fruits dangling from it's limbs. Some of these are red and some are a yellow-orange. I step closer and inspect them.

"You can have one," Marco comes from behind me and goes to my left. "Just make sure you pick one that's completely red."

I give him a weird look. Doesn't red mean dangerous? I just stare at him. I think he gets the hint because he picks one off the tree and takes a bite out of it, showing me that it's not poisonous. He picks two more and hands them to Levi and Bertholdt. I look up into the branches for a fruit that's within my reach. I find one and I lightly tug on it. It won't come off the stem. I tug on it a little harder. Nope. Still not bugging.

"Here. Let me show you how to pick one before you rip off the whole branch," Marco grabs the one I was pulling on. "Twist it with your wrist."

He does so and with a tiny crack, the fruit pops off and he hands it to me. I take it. "It's easier to pick and you don't hurt the tree, so it's a win-win situation."

I take a bite. It's crunchy, sweet, and juicy. "What kind of fruit is this?"

He looks at me like I've grown two heads, "You've never had an apple before?"

I look at the fruit in my hands. "An apple, huh? I like it."

Marco gives me a sympathetic smile, "Glad you do."

After a few hours spent in the gardens, the sun begins to set and Marco decides it's time for everyone to retire. "After all," he says, "it has been a very eventful day. Doesn't hurt to sleep for a few extra hours."

He shows us where we will be sleeping. We each get our own room. I've never had a whole room to myself.

I open the door to see an extravagant bed. Soft-looking covers and pillows galore. Why would I need so many? I go through all of the pillows to find the biggest one and keep it at the head of the bed. I lie down and cover up. It's so comfortable and warm. I think it's safe to say I've never been more comfortable in my life. But there's only one thing keeping me awake.

Reiner.

I haven't seen hide nor hair of him since the arena. Like Marco said, he's probably gone by now. It's all my fault. I killed him. No. I didn't kill him. The coliseum did. No. The Romans, the emperor did. It all flows back to him. If that's the case, how did he let us get past and into his home? Did Marco sneak us in? Lavanya was obviously in on this too. None of this makes sense.

A harsh knocking startles me out of my thoughts. It's rushed and sounds urgent. "Jean! Jean! It's me!" Marco calls from the other side of the door. "Open up! I have news!"

I hop out of bed and open the door. Marco looks excited, relieved, and ridiculous in what I assume are his night clothes. "It's your friend Reiner! He's-He's"

"I thought you said he was gone."

Marco shakes his head vigorously. 

"He's alive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REINER'S ALIVE?!?!?! DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN!!!!!! HAHA!! NOW QUEUE CLIFFHANGER!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like my chapters are getting shorter. Are they getting shorter? I hope not. Does anyone eat ranch Doritos with ranch is is that just me? That has nothing to do with anything. I'll stop talking now.

Reiner's..... Alive?

Before I know it, I'm running down the hall. I have no idea where I'm going, I just run. I think Marco's chasing after me and yelling about something, but I could care less. I need to see this for myself.

I turn into corridor after corridor without even realizing it. I've probably been down this one at least twice, I remember seeing that pained duck. Why is this place so big?!?!

A woman dressed in blood-covered, ratty white clothes steps out of one of the rooms. Her chestnut hair is pulled back into a tight ponytail. Her hands are also covered in blood and she wipes her forehead with her arm. I literally shove her out of the way and rush into the room.

There his is. Reiner's lying on a wooden table. I can see the rise and fall of his chest. He is alive.

Another person is standing on the other side of the table. I can't make them out too well due to the dim lighting of the room. They're a lot shorter than I am. That's all I can really tell.

"Are you the one who did this to him?" It's a female voice. I look down in defeat. I can't say I'm not. I'm not proud of it, or the rest for that matter.

"I am..." Once the words fall from my lips, I'm slammed into the wall. Damn, she's quick and strong.

Eyes as cold as ice stare me down. Her eyes alone trap me. I'm frozen. I can't move.

Marco and the chestnut-haired woman come rushing in. They probably heard me slam against the wall.

"Annie," Marco says, "it wasn't his fault. He had no choice."

Annie looks at him and then back to me. She lets me go. I feel like I can breathe again.

"Hanji," the woman looks to Marco. "Will he make a full recovery?"

"Oh yeah!" Hanji exclaims. "Almost thought he wouldn't pull though due to the immense amount of blood loss, but he should be fine."

"Good. Now one last favor." Marco walks up to me and unwraps my stitches. "Can you redo these and clean his wound?"

"Sure thing! I'll get to it right away. You can notify everyone else about Reiner, too. I'm sure they'd all like to know." Hanji pulls me away and Marco leaves. "Annie, you can go too. I'll keep a good eye on him."

Annie looks hesitant to leave but does so anyway. I'm pulled deeper into the room.

"Where are we going?"

"To my office, of course! What? Did you think I only had to work the one room?" There's a door at the end of the room that i couldn't see before. She opens it and it's all just cluttered. Various papers, books, medicines, and utensils are stacked and stashed everywhere.

Hanji has me sit in a desk chair and she pulls out a box of supplies.

"I know what you're thinking," her voice a thousand times more serious than the way she was talking before. "They're good people. All of them. They saved us. Don't turn them down."

She finishes and wipes my new stitches off. "There! All done! You can go back to bed now. Don't want to keep you up all night!"

She ushers me out and says good night. What did she mean earlier? Don't turn them down? I need to clear my head.

I go to the gardens. It looks even more beautiful in the moonlight. I sit on a bench next to a pool and I see my reflection for the first time in two years. My hair is everywhere. I try to pet it down but to no avail. I look into my reflection's eyes. They're emotionless and tired. Like that of an old man's whose lived too long. The almost look dead. I touch my finger to the surface of the water to break up the picture. I swipe my finger slowly from side to side. The water ripples in protest.

It's a relief to know Reiner's alive. That's a little weight off of my shoulders. But Hanji's words echo in my skull. Saved us? What did she mean?

"Mind if I join you?"

I look up and see Marco. I turn back to the water and shrug. He sits down next to me. We sit in silence for a while until he speaks up.

"It's ok, you know."

I look at him, confused. He looks back at me.

"It's ok to show more emotions than anger, fear, and regret. Laugh, cry, love. You can live your life now."

I huff and go back to making little waves. "My life was never mine to live."

"Well, it is now. You can do whatever you've dreamed of doing. You're safe."

I don't respond. 

After sitting in silence for a while, Marco gets up, wishes me a goodnight, and leaves. I just stare at the water under my fingers.

He said I was safe.

I wish he hadn't said that.

The last person to tell me I was safe died right in front of me.

"Damnit..."

I wipe away tears and the water of the pool smoothes out again. My reflection appears once again and I dare to look at it. I look younger now. Is that even me? More tears run down my cheeks. My memories haunt me like a ghost. How am I supposed to move on? How am I supposed to forget?

How do I live?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... I'm not too proud or this chapter. I started typing before thinking and it turned out to be a jumbled mess. I tried to fix it but I don't think I succeeded much. So have fun?

_"I love you, Jean..... Be a good boy..."_

I startle wake from my nightmare. I haven't had that certain one in a long time. I've fallen asleep with my fingertips in the water. Perfect. I pull them out to find them as wrinkled has the neck of an old woman. It'll probably take hours, if not all day for them to go back to normal.

"That must've been some nightmare," a deep voice says. I look to my left and find the emperor sitting in the bench next to mine. I jump and fall on my ass. What is the emperor doing here? Oh wait. It's more like the other way around, is it?

He chuckles and gets up. Oh no. What is he going to do to me? He stands over me and I brace myself for anything that might come next. When nothing does, I look up and see he's offering his hand. I hesitantly take it and he pulls me to my feet.

"I don't think we've formally met. My name is Lucius and you are?"

"J-Jean."

"Well, Jean. Hate to say it, but you've slept through breakfast so one of these are going to have to do." Lucius picks an apple form one of the trees, "Catch!"

He tosses it and I snatch it out of the air. I turn the apple in my hands. It feels odd in my grip. I know I had one yesterday, but it's still strange.

"No need to be modest," I look up from the apple to Lucius. He looks different, kinder. His serpent eyes have melted into a seemingly softer shape. "Go on, take a bite. I bet you're famished."

He's right about that. I'm starving. I take a generous chunk out of the apple. It's sweet juices once again flooding my mouth. I don't think I'll ever get used to it's flavor.

Lucius smiles at me once again. He sit back down on the bench and gestures for me to sit next to him. I hesitate for a minute and sit. This is strange. I'm in the lowest of classes, a slave, a gladiator and I'm being treated like a human being by the emperor? Slaves are usually put to work right away. I haven't done a scrap of work since being here. What is this family up to?

Lucius looks to me after gazing at the various plants and birds. "I don't believe you've met everyone. Come," he stands, "let me introduce you."

He leads me down halls and into rooms. There's a lot more people here than I originally thought.

I've met Hanji, the 'Royal Doctor/Scientist.' Annie, who happens to be one of the guards of the palace. Marco, the 'Prince.' Lavanya, the 'Queen.' And the emperor himself.

Lucius first introduces me to the 'House Keeper,' Historia. She prefers to be called Christa to keep things simple. She looks my age, if not younger. Her eyes are big and blue and her hair is golden like the sun. Her beauty could mach that of Lavanya's.

After Christa goes back to her chores, Lucius tells me something odd.

"If I where you I'd keep my distance from her," he whispers to me. "My daughter is very protective of her."

"Consider it done. I have no intentions of getting on her bad side." He laughs at my comment.

He then shows me the kitchens. A young man and woman are chasing each other and causing a ruckus.

"SASHA!!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU? YOU CAN'T EAT ALL OF THE POTATOES!!!" The man yells and continues the chase. Sasha is running around with a potato in each hand and one in her mouth. She quickens her pace and the whole kitchen goes to hell. A jar gets broken here, a bowl gets spilt there.

It's when a sack of flour goes flying, Lucius steps in. All he does is clear his throat and everything goes silent.

The two freeze. They both pause in the most ridiculous positions. Sasha has lost the two potatoes in her fists, she probably threw them at the man and he has some kind of pot on his head.

They stare at Lucius, me, and each other. What's wrong with these two?

"There. Now that's settled. Connie, Sasha I would like to introduce you to Jean. He just came in yesterday."

Connie and Sasha rush over to me. They're both covered in flour and some gets on me. Seriously what is up with them?

Connie grabs my right hand and Sasha takes my left. They shake them at the same time.

"Welcome to the palace, Jean! The name's Connie!"

"Hmmrff, Sherrn!" Sasha still has the potato in her mouth and Connie elbows her. She quickly takes it out with a bite and repeats herself. "Hello, Jean!"

They let go and I'm almost completely covered in flour. I dust myself off as best as I can.

"Now that's done. You two," Lucius turns to Connie and Sasha, "clean this place up! And no more goofing around!" They nod and get to work. Lucius sounded stern. Like how a father would scold his child. Nothing like a master would to a slave.

He introduces me to the palace guards. Erwin, Lucius's lifelong friend and head of the guard. Mikasa, Petra, Auruo, Gunter, and Erd: The body of the guard.

It's odd. So far, everyone in the palace have non-Roman names. The only one who has a Roman name is Lucius.

Lucuis then takes me to a study of sorts. There, sitting at a table is Marco, his sister, and a blonde haired man. This man must be their tutor.

The man is pointing out places on a map. Lucuis rests his hand on the man's shoulder. "Armin, do you mind if I interrupt for a moment?"

Armin looks up. "Not at all, Lucius! We where just reviewing. What is it that you need?"

Lucius then looks to me and Armin follows. "This is the young man who missed breakfast this morning. Jean, meet Armin. He's Marco's and Ymir's teacher."

"Pleasure to meet you, Jean! If you want to study with Marco and Ymir you're welcome to."

"Um, not at the moment. If Lucuis is finished, I really should go and check up on my friends. I might join you later if you're not busy."

Armin smiles. "If you have any questions at all, just come ask me."

Sad thing is is that I have too many unanswerable questions.

"Thank you, Armin. You three can get back to your studying." Armin nods and continues with his teachings and Lucius and I leave.

"That should do it for all the workers in the palace. All of your friends are in Hanji's operating room. I believe you know where that is?" I nod. "Good. Now I must get back to work. I hope your friend makes a speedy recovery."

I make my way to Hanji's room. Why was the emperor so nice? What kind of fantasy am I in?

I open the door and everyone is sitting in a chair around Reiner, who happens to be awake and sitting up in a small makeshift bed.

I can tell Bertholdt's been crying, his eyes are still puffy. Eren is looking a lot better, his dark bruises are beginning to fade and Levi and Annie just look up and watch me from their seats.

"Jean! Come sit!" Hanji gets up and pulls me to everyone else, "Reiner is making an amazing recovery! At the rate he's going, he should be up and walking within the next few days! It's astonishing! I've never seen anyone pull out of an injury as severe has his!"

Reiner looks up at me. My must be one of guilt and he waves me to come closer.

I stand at his bedside and crouch a bit so I'm eye-level with him. Reiner reaches out and puts his hand heavily on my shoulder. "It's not your fault," he says, "I know you didn't mean it. I know you didn't want to do it. But don't look at me like that, damnit! I said this to Bertholdt and I'll say it again: I'm fine, so quit your whining and be thankful I'm still here!"

Everyone, including Levi and Annie, laugh and Reiner pulls me into a hug. He still has a sense of humor.

I'm grateful that he's still alive and I'm grateful that I don't have anymore blood on my hands than there already is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like Lucuis's name. I looked up Roman names and this one meant 'light' and I thought it was perfect.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There. Chapter 7. Kinda short, but hopefully it's better than 6.

Hanji eventually kicks us out. Rambling on about how Reiner is healing quickly, but still needs his rest. We just hang around the door for a few minutes, unsure of what to do until Eren opens his mouth.

"Jean? Have I ever told you that you look like a mentally challenged horse?"

"Eren? Have I ever told you that you always look like a pissed off three-year-old?"

"You wanna go, Horseface?"

"You're the one who started it, you insane toddler!"

We both fall hard to the ground. Turns out Levi kicked our feet from under us. "Shut up, both of you. Do you not know where we're at? We are in the emperor's palace. Do you want to get punished or, for that matter, killed?" We both groan and get up. Why is Levi always right?

"Okay, you got us," I say after I get to my feet. "So what do we do now?"

"I don't know."

"Wait a minute," Eren steps in. "So you're telling us that Levi, one of the greatest gladiators ever known, doesn't have a plan of any kind."

Levi sits and thinks for a little bit. "Don't any of you think that it's odd how Reiner and Jean where pinned together yesterday when the emperor and his family came to watch the fight?" We all nod. "I think there might be some grander plan behind that. The coliseum wouldn't put two gladiators from the same cell against each other, it would be too predictable, too easy for each other to find their weak points."

"You think the emperor could be behind this?" I can't believe what I'm hearing. What is going on?

"The emperor or anyone in the family. Alright. Jean, you get closer to the family. I've seen you and the emperor wondering the halls today and the son seems to be taking a liking you already. Eren, befriend the servants. Start from the bottom and make your way to the top. Bert, check up on Reiner, I know that's what you want to do, and collect information from the doctor. I'm sure she knows a thing or two. And I'll get in with the guards. We'll get started right away. Got it?" We all agree and head off in different directions. Let's hope I don't fuck this up and get us all caught. Who knows what might happen after that. I try to remember the way to the study Marco, Ymir, and Armin where in until I run into someone.

I land on my ass for the second time today and look up to see who I bumped into. Well, it's none other than Marco. He starts picking up the books and papers he dropped while apologizing.

"I'm so sorry, Jean. I'm such a klutz. I should've watched where I was going."

I chuckle and help him pick up his books. "It's fine. I wasn't watching where I was going either so we'll call it a draw, yeah?"

Now it's his turn to laugh. "Yeah. A draw."

"You know," I pick up one of his bigger books, "I've never really learned how to read. I mean, I can read a few words, but not very many."

He looks up at me in surprise. "You've never learned how to read?"

"Hey, I know a few!"

"But you've never read a book before?" He holds one up as an example.

"Marco, I'm a slave. A gladiator. The last time I checked we didn't read for a living."

"You _were_ a slave and you _were_ a gladiator. Stop talking like that. You're a member of the palace now." He throws me a hard glare. One that could almost spit venom.

I look down at the books in my hand. Where? I still feel like one.

"Jean? If it would cheer you up, I could teach you how to read! It's a very useful and entertaining skill."

I look up at him and into his eyes for signs of honesty, it's all there. "Really?"

He nods happily. "Really."

I stand up and offer my hand for him to take. I pull him to his feet. "So when will we start my lessons?"

Marco thinks for a second and answers. "How about tomorrow? I don't have any lessons with Armin for a little while so it'd be the perfect time! We'll start as soon as the day begins!" He seems a little too enthusiastic about this.

"Perfect! Now, do you need help taking these books back?"

He looks confused for a moment. "Huh? Oh! That would be great! I was taking these back to the study. I'll lead you there."

We put the books away and I realize that it's getting darker. Damn, what took up the entire day? It was probably Lucius showing me around and visiting Reiner.

"Jean, you better head to your room before you get caught in the dark and run into things. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow!"

"Thanks, Marco." I start walking away until Marco calls me again.

"Oh, Jean! Sleep inside this time. You'll catch your death if you sleep in the garden again."

"Thanks again, Marco!" Little does he know how many times death has almost caught me.

I surprisingly make it to my room just fine. It seems like it's the only room I can remember the route to. I lie down on the perfectly made bed, most likely Christa's work, and I cover myself up. I realized that my right-hand fingers are no longer wrinkled. I guess they cleared up quicker than I thought, but of course I wasn't paying attention enough to even notice.

This was the first dreamless sleep I've had in my entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH BOY. Will Levi's plan backfire in possibly more than one way? I guess we're gonna have to wait and see ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I did research and it turns out the Romans wrote in Latin, which is almost exactly like English so yay I don't have to use ridiculous symbols and phrases. And I also learned that high-ranking Romans ate on these bed things, no idea what they are, but it's true. They also had breakfast at the butt-crack of dawn but you know, fuck that.

"Jean, you've got all that down? Jean? Hey!" A pencil is tossed at me  and hits the top of my head.

"Huh? What? I'm up, I'm up!" I quickly raise my head and sit up in my seat. When Marco said 'bright and early' I wasn't expecting to get up at the crack of dawn.

Marco reaches across the table and retrieves his pencil. "Come on, Jean. If you want to read, you're going to have to learn these letters. And I'm pretty sure that sleeping isn't going to help you."

"Not my fault that you woke me up so fuckin' early." I cross my arms over my chest and lean back in my seat. This is a bit ridiculous.

"The sooner we started, the sooner we can finish. Now, what is this letter?" Marco uses the pencil to point at the letter in question.

"Umm..." I have no idea what the thing is. It looks like two lines connected in the middle by a shorter line, ~~_(A/N: It's an H. Too bad I can't break the 4th wall and tell Jean that. Haha. I'll go now.)_ ~~ but I don't know what it's called or how it sounds.

Marco sighs. "It's an H, Jean. If you were awake, you would've known that." He looks out the window. "I suppose we can take a break. Breakfast is probably ready, if not, close to done. Getting some food in your system might help you stay up and concentrate."

Marco leads me to what I presume to be the dinning room and there's long, couch-like furniture placed in a horseshoe shape with small tables along the inside of the horseshoe. An array of fruits and breads are scattered along the tables.

Everyone in the palace, expect Reiner and Hanji, are already lying on their sides or stomachs on the couches. Marco lies next to Ymir and pats the empty spot on his left. I get the hint quick enough and lie next to him. These couches are soft, not as soft as the beds, but a close second.

Marco leans over and plucks a purple, round berry-like fruit from a vine. He hands it to me. "Try it. It's really juicy."

I inspect the berry. It's perfectly round and I lightly squish it with my fingers. It's skin is tight and firm. I toss it in my mouth and bite on it. The fruit explodes with juices. The liquids catch me off guard and I almost choke.

Marco chuckles nervously and pats my back. "Sorry, I shouldn't have given you such a big grape. Here," he picks up an apple and gives it to me. "Something you're a little more used to."

I'm starting to really enjoy this red fruit. They seem to get sweeter each time I have one.

The whole dinning area is filled with light conversation and joyous laughter. It ends all too soon it seems when everyone leaves one by one. Connie and Sasha give each other devious looks.

"Betcha I can carry more bowls to the kitchen!" Sasha quickly gets up and gathers empty and half-full bowls.

"How much are we betting here, Sash?"

Lucius gathers the bowls on front of him and splits them between the two. "How about Sasha's secret stash of potatoes?" And he walks away with a knowing smile.

They both look shocked, especially Sasha. Connie begins to laugh hysterically and takes the golden opportunity to snatch up more bowls. "Looks like you're going to loose your potatoes, Sash!"

Sasha runs after Connie. He's laughing while she yells at him. I just sit here with a smile and shake my head. "Are they always like this?"

"They can get worse, trust me. Now. Back to our studies, yes?"

I groan and get up. I've barely even started and I want to quit already.

The rest of the day was the alphabet, the letter's names, and learning how they sound. Marco's been practically shoving all of these down my throat from my perspective. I'm probably not going to remember all this in the morning and the cycle will start all over again. My brain is fried.

"Alright, I think that'll cover it for today. I'll give you a notebook and some cards with the letters on them. You got that, Jean? Jean? Hey! You can sleep in your bed!" Marco throws a pencil at my head again. I sit up right away. He sighs, "Did you hear a word I said?"

"What?" He sighs again.

"I _said_ I'm going to give you a notebook and letter cards so you can study before you go to bed." He gives me a leather-bound book and the stack of cards. I take them and a pencil and say my goodnights to Marco. He's going to kill me with all of these letters...

I sit cross-legged on my bed and look through the cards. One side has the letter itself and the other has a crude drawing of an object that starts with that letter. Damn, who drew these? They're absolutely dreadful.

I spend the rest of my waking hours drawing the examples in my notebook. Mine look so much better and more realistic than the ones on the cards. I feel a bit better now.

I eventually pass out with my cards in utter chaos and my notebook wide open. I could care less right now. Knowledge is exhausting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking about changing the title to something less terrible but I don't know what :/


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda a filler chapter, kinda not. It's short, but it works.

"Jean. Jean, get up." It's none other than Marco. I don't want to get up, Marco. Can't you see that?

"Jean, come on. You have lessons, now get up!"

Fuck the lessons. I just want to sleep.

"Jean, please. The sooner we start the sooner we can finish."

Yeah and you said that yesterday and we were at it all day! I roll over on my side so my back faces him.

"I'll drag your lazy ass out of bed if you don't get up."

Don't give a shit.

"Jeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnn..."

Maaaaaarrrrrccccooooo....

I hear him huff. "Goodness, Jean. You must've been studying up a storm!" I wouldn't exactly call it that but sure. I can hear him pick up a few cards here, pick up a few there. "What's this?"

I hear the flipping of pages. He found my notebook. Oh well. I couldn't care less right now. "Jean, I had no idea you were so good. It's like these drawings are alive..."

That's nice. Now let me sleep.

"Fine. You asked for it." I hear his footsteps leave. Finally. I can go back to sleep.

Just as I doze off again, I hear Marco's voice. "Jean. Jean, get up." Not this again.

I don't respond and a bird starts cawing and flying around my head. What in the world?! I sit up and try to shoo the bird away with my arms. It seems to work because it goes flying to the door.

"Perfect! You're up." I look to the door and there's Marco with a white-speckled raven on his shoulder. Was that the bird that attacked me?

"What is that?" I point to the bird, it seems offended that I called it a 'that.'

"More like who. This is Lyra," he scratches her head. "She's my pet. Say hello, Lyra."

Lyra opens her beak and says hello in Marco's voice. I almost fall off the bed. "How did you do that?"

Marco looks at me, confused. "Do what?"

"Make the bird speak!" I get out of the bed and walk up to inspect the bird. "Is it a puppet?" I get a peck on the nose. I guess not.

"She's not a puppet. Ravens are mimicking birds. They can copy all sorts of sounds, even voices."

"That's amazing and creepy." Lyra caws at me once more. I guess she can understand speech as well.

"Now that you're up. We'll start our lessons. Lyra would you like to help Jean?" Lyra bobs her head up and down. "Good. Could you go to the study and arrange the cards in order?" She flies off and we head down as well.

"So how'd you get Lyra?" I ask Marco. He thinks for a bit.

"Honestly, I don't really remember. I've had her for so long. She's always been by my side, she's more of a sister than a pet." We walk into the study and the cards are in neat rows. Lyra is perched on the back of one of the chairs. "Shall we begin?"

The day goes on similar to yesterday. Study, breakfast, more studying, lunch, study some more, dinner, then bed. I find it silly how a bird knows the alphabet better than I do.

Marco has also told me more about Lyra and a few of the other pets. It turns out that his family are more bird people than anything else. Lucius and Ymir both have falcons. Ymir's is still in training while Lucius' is getting older and having a hard time seeing. Lavanya has a pair of parakeets, both vibrant in color.

He also tells me that Lyra and the older falcon are trusted outside of the palace. Lyra acts as a guide with her black and white coloration. The two also hunt for themselves. Lyra searching out prey for the older one to kill. It's like she looks out for everyone. It's amazing.

I find myself sketching Lyra in my notebook. At the rate I'm going, I'll need a new one for actually writing notes.

I close the notebook and place it and the pencil on the nightstand. Who ever knew a bird, of all things, would be so clever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment where Jean is actually you in the morning and Marco's your mom trying to get you out of bed. XD  
> Oh, and Lyra's a piebald raven just in case you were confused about that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think 9 chapter is enough, don't you? This chapter kicked my ass, this sucker was hard to write! Updates might slow down or stop for a while, I'm extremely overdue for a new phone and that's what I've been using to write with. So hang on, more is to come!

It's been three months and we haven't gotten any information at all.

"Levi, no one's given up anything! We should abandon the plan." Eren's back to health and as fucking annoying as ever.

"People don't give up their intentions after knowing another person for a few weeks. You have a brain, think with it. This is the best thing we can do and it's going to take time, so be patient," Levi crosses his arms over his chest. "Jean. You have the most important part of the plan. Have you gotten anywhere?"

"I'm getting closer to the emperor's son, Marco," I stand up a little straighter. "He's teaching me language skills now."

"Good. Keep doing what your doing. Eren, what's your position?"

"Erm.... The cooks are a bit... unpredictable." I have to snicker at his answer. I've never heard anything more accurate.

"Bertholdt?" Levi turns to him.

"Um... Well, Reiner's up and walking. He still has stitches though, but Hanji's barely said two words to either of us."

"Strange... She seems like the type who would talk your ear off."

"If it means anything," I cut in, "Hanji told me something kinda strange when I first met her. She said something about 'them being good people' and 'they saved us, don't turn them down.'"

"What in the ever-loving fuck does that mean?"

"I have no idea."

"You think she could be talking about the emperor and his family?" Eren blurts out.

"Most likely, but what did she mean by saving us?" Levi looks at the ground in thought. His concentration is broken when we hear Marco calling for me.

"Jean? Jean, where are you?" He appears at the end of the hall and comes running when he sees us. "There you are! Oh. Am I interrupting something?"

"No, you're fine. What did you need me for?"

"Ah, yes. Meet me in the gardens in a few minutes, will you?"

"Sure, but-" he cuts me off.

"Great! I'll see you in the gardens!" He runs off again. That was odd.

"Go on," Levi says. "It seems important."

I nod and head off to the gardens. I've never seen Marco act like that before. He seemed excited? Maybe some fear behind his eyes? I couldn't tell. He was there and gone in a flash.

I've been having strange feelings about Marco lately. They're hard to explain, but I'm looking forward to our lessons more and more.

He's also been appearing in my drawings. Almost all the pages of my notebook are filled with sketches of him. He could be reading a book, sitting in the garden, or spending quality time with Lyra. It's strange, I'm not even aware I'm drawing him until I've completely finished and it always turns out perfect. With any other object, I would need to change a line here, make this a bit bolder, so on and so forth. But with Marco, it's like I'm drawing him straight from my mind. Everything turns out exactly how I imagined it would look.

I walk out into the gardens and Marco is nowhere to be seen.

"Marco?"

As if on queue, Lyra flies down and lands in front of me. She squawks at me and hops toward the far-end hedge.

"So? It's a plant wall. What do you want me to do about it?"

She hangs her head and shakes it. I swear this is a person trapped in a bird's body. She then disappears into the hedge.

"Lyra?" I call out to her. She caws as if to say 'hurry up.'

I push aside some loose branches an lo and behold, there's a green labyrinth of sorts. Lyra looks up with her deep brown eyes and caws again. I step inside. I come into the gardens almost everyday and I never had any idea that it was bigger.

Once I'm completely in, Lyra hops on a small table with a vase filled with lavender colored roses. She grabs one in her beak and flies onto my shoulder. I take the rose, only to find out that there's a slip of paper wrapped around the stem. I untie the string keeping it in place and take the paper. It's a note written in Marco's handwriting.

_______________________________   
_Jean,_   
_When I first saw you, I knew right then you would be special. I knew deep within my bones that you would do great things._   
_P.S. Please take the roses Lyra gives you along with you._   
_______________________________

I'm thankful for Marco's lessons. Looks like I'm a faster learner than I thought.

Lyra glides off of my shoulder and hops around the corner, obviously wanting me to follow. So I do.

"What is he planing?" I look at the purple rose in my hand. What is he trying to do?

Lyra leads me down a few more aisles and corners and hops on another table. The vase on the table is full of red-orange roses. (A/N: These are coral roses. I'm pretty sure Jean wouldn't know what a coral would be lol.) Lyra picks up a rose and again hops on my shoulder. I take the rose and read the note that was wrapped around it.

_______________________________   
_Jean,_   
_I felt horrible that you had to fight. Sorry, even. The main reason why I stopped the fight before I should've. I'll explain the whole situation with that later, but in the meantime, keep following Lyra._   
_______________________________

He felt sorry? He seemed like such an ass when I first met him, I would know. Does he feel that way for all the slaves or was it just me? Well, I guess I'll have to find out later.

Lyra once again leads me deeper into the labyrinth and gives me a yellow rose.

_______________________________   
_Jean,_   
_When you agreed to do lessons with me, I could barely contain myself, I was so excited. I had this deep feeling in my gut that we would be great friends and I could help give you a new life._   
_______________________________

He was excited for teaching my sorry ass to read? Is he joking? And what's up with the roses anyway??? Why is it roses?

Lyra squawks at me. I snap out of my thoughts and follow her once again, this time it's to white and pink roses. This is different. Lyra gives me one of each.

_______________________________   
_Jean,_   
_Sorry for two flowers at once, but I didn't have enough vases. When we first started to get to know each other, you where as quiet as could be. I was having doubts that you would even want to be my friend. But when you got more comfortable with me, you bloomed like a rose. And that's when I knew..._   
_______________________________

What?! Knew what?!

Another corner and an orange rose.

_______________________________   
_That's when I knew you where the one. The only. My other half and I just wanted to say..._   
_______________________________

My face feels warm. What? I don't quite understand.

Lyra turns one last corner and we enter a circular, room-like area. Roses of all the colors I've collected grow up the walls and an extravagant fountain sits in the middle. Marco stands a couple feet in front of me and he has a deep blood-red rose. He hands me the blossom.

"I love you, Jean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marco you dork. Here are the best meanings for the roses:
> 
> •Red: Unconscious beauty  
> •Yellow: Joy, friendship, the promise of a new beginning  
> •Lavender: Love at first sight  
> •White: Purity, innocence, reverence, silence  
> •Pink: Grace, happiness, gentleness  
> •Orange: Desire and enthusiasm  
> •Coral/Red-Orange: Friendship, modesty, sympathy


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two seem to go on autopilot in this chapter... Oops! Spoiler alert! My bad. I wonder if I can get 666 hits so I can prove that I am indeed Satan. HAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!! Oops again. That had nothing to do with anything... Oh! I got a new phone! Still learning it. But I can update with it!!

I love you, Jean.

I love you, Jean.

_I love you, Jean._

_I love you, Jean._

 

Marco's words swirl in my head repeatedly. Slowly changing his voice into that of a woman's. A woman's voice that will forever haunt my memories.

 

My mother.

 

My surroundings begin to distort and change. The red rose melts into blood that pools around my now young and bare feet. Marco's form changes into that of my mother, barely hanging on to life, on her knees and hanging by the chains around her wrists. Blood. She pours like the fountain that was once behind Marco. She raises her head weakly and smiles sadly at me. The crimson liquid stains her lips and neck.

 

_"I love you, Jean..... Be a good boy...."_

 

I drop to my knees. Looking straight into the eyes of my mother before her head drops and she goes limp. She's gone. She's dead and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

"Jean!!"

 

I look around me. Who was that?

 

"Jean! Jean!!! I'm so sorry!!!"

 

A male voice? It sounds familiar and foreign.

 

A pair of strong hands grip my shoulders and I'm shaken back to reality. The greenery and all of it's tranquility comes crashing down on me. My head pounds and my insides twist. I'm on my knees. Roses of every color are scattered around me. Only a single red rose stays in my right hand. Why are there roses?

 

I look up and meet the warm brown eyes of another person. It's a male. He looks worried. Could this be the man that called out to me?

 

Without moment's hesitation, I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my head into his shoulder. He stiffens for a second and wraps his arms around my midsection. It feels warm. Safe...

 

"I'm sorry, Jean," his voice is soft and wobbly. "I should've never said that. It was probably too early anyway, but it's true. I think the world of you."

 

I slightly pull back and press our foreheads together. I look even deeper into his eyes. He's crying. He thinks his confession was denied.

 

Without a second thought, I pull him closer and smash our lips together. He stiffens again and relaxes. He kisses back. It's a bit awkward and a bit sloppy, but it's what we both need right now. We both have tears running down our cheeks and I begin to taste salt. Marco's the first to pull away.

 

"Jean, you didn't-" I cut him off with another kiss.

 

"I know I didn't have to. I wanted to, I needed to. Marco, I love you too." He hugs me tighter, not only in happiness, but mostly in relief. I embrace him just as hard and I break. The dam holding back all of my emotions collapses and everything seems to disappear. Everything except Marco. He's the rock I cling to so I don't wash away. He's the log that's keeping me afloat so I don't drown. He's my lifeline.

 

He gently picks me up and carries me back. I watch behind him and see the fountain and the roses disappear. All the roses but one. I still have a tight grip on the red rose. All the other roses I had were trimmed of its' thorns and this one was too. I look down at my clenched fist and blood drips from my hand. One thorn has missed Marco's eye and landed in my palm. A small prick. A single reminder of my journey to the palace. To my new beginning. To my new life. To my new home.

 

To my first and only love.

 

To Marco.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit. I didn't realized it sounded like the end of the book. Don't worry, there will be more! This isn't the end!!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh... Still learning the phone and Pokemon Go is distracting lol. Well here's a shit fluff/sad or whatever the hell you want to call it.

I wake up curled up against Marco. My head is underneath his chin and his arms are wrapped protectively around me. He's still asleep and I can't move. Great. Now what? I look around as much as I can. From what I can see, we're in my room. How did we even get in here?

 

Marco shifts slightly and I freeze. He groans quietly and plants his lips into my hair, "Good morning, Jean."

 

I tilt my head up and meet his eyes. We're so close, our noses are rubbing against each other. "Good morning, Marco."

 

He closes the gap between us. His lips touching mine in pure bliss. I've never known of a kiss this kind and gentle.

 

Marco pulls away and puts his forehead against mine, "Jean?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"What happened yesterday?" He stares deep into my eyes and my breath catches in my throat, "If you don't want to talk about-"

 

I cut him off, "No. You deserve to know." I take a deep breath, "You were the first person that said you loved me since I was six."

 

Marco looked confused, so I continued, "I was born into the slavery system. No one seemed to have any sympathy for me so I stayed that way until you found me. My mother worked harder than anyone I've ever known. I know now that she wasn't just working because she was a slave, she was working for me. For our chance to live."

 

My throat feels like it's closing, but I push on anyway, "When my sixth birthday came around, it was obvious that we weren't going anywhere. My mother decided to take too big of a risk and tried to escape with me. Long story short, we were caught and they killed her right in front of me. I still remember her last words... _I love you, Jean..... Be a good boy..."_

 

My fists are clenched around the fabric over Marco's chest, tears are now running freely down my face. I manage to choke out a few more words, "S-She... She was the only one who ever said she loved me..."

 

My sobs become harder and Marco pulls me closer to his chest, "That's not true, Jean." I look up at him in confusion, "She's not the only one who loves you. I love you, Jean. And I'll say it till the day I die. I love you."

 

"Don't say that..." I wrap my arms around his neck a bury my face in his collar bone, "Please, not that... Please."

 

He lifts one hand and runs it through my hair, "I'll love you after every star burns out, after the last leaf and raindrop falls. I will always love you, Jean. Always."

 

I bury my face even more. Marco's words give me a little more comfort. He holds me close until my sobs settle. Marco still keeps me in his arms. Wrapped in his warmth.

 

Safe in his grasp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, not much I can do about this now already posed it. Oops.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh... Lucky number 13, what do you have in store for us?

I open my eyes to see the bright, blue sky above me. I sit up and look around me. I'm in the gardens. Everything seems more lush and green. Red roses and their vines cover the walls and hedges. When did those get there?

 

I stand up from the bench I was laying on and walk to some bushes. They're in bloom. Everything's in bloom. All the vibrant flowers fill the air with a calming and relaxing scent. I run my thumb gently over a soft, pink petal.

 

"Jean!~" I can hear Marco's voice calling, yet singing, out to me. I look up and see his head peeking out of one of the hedges and disappears I follow him into the labyrinth. I see him dash around the corner, laughing.

 

"What's so funny?" I say with my own snicker slipping. Damn, his laughter is contagious.

 

"Come and catch me, Jean!" Marco shouts out with happiness and is hidden by another corner. I quickly follow.

 

I keep him within my sights. I can easily outrun him, but he seems to be having a lot of fun being chased. So I lag behind a bit. He keeps running and laughing down multiple corridors. The turns are looking awfully familiar. Are we headed toward the fountain?

 

My question is answered when Marco turns to the flowery room. I stop and walk into the enclosed area. It's painfully obvious that Marco is hiding behind the fountain. Most of his back and shoulders show. I quietly creep up on him.

 

I crouch down to the left of the fountain, out of sight. Marco's breathing seems stiff in an odd and playful way. He looks to the right side of the fountain to see if I'm behind him. I take that as my queue to pounce. Marco lets out a surprised scream as I tackle him to the grass in a soft thud. I pin him to the ground and we both laugh.

 

He looks up at me with those gentle eyes he inherented from his mother and everything stills. It's like the only other person in the world is Marco.

 

He lifts his right hand and runs his fingers through my hair. I lean into the touch, "Jean..."

 

His voice is as soft as it could be, "Jean, wake up."

 

Wake up?

 

"Jean. Please wake up. Please? For me?" But I am awake.

 

I try to tell him, but a bright light blurs my vision and he disappears.

 

I wake up to find Marco's chest in my face once again. My fists are still tangled in his clothing. Did I even move?

 

Marco gently shakes my shoulder again, "Jean. It's noon already."

 

His voice was gentle like before. I'm confused. I sit up and look around, we're still in my room. I thought we where in the gardens. How did we get here?

 

Marco notices my confusion and sits up as well, "What's wrong?"

 

I look around once more, "I thought we where in the gardens?"

 

The statement comes out more of a question, but Marco gets the hint, "Jean, you were dreaming. We were in the bedroom most of the day."

 

Dreaming? It seemed so real... That was a dream? "I've never had a good dream before..."

 

My thoughts slip out of my mouth and I quickly cover it. Marco notices my distress and comes closer. He nuzzles his nose against mine, "Let's hope you have plenty more in the future."

 

I relax and nuzzle him back when the door swings open and slams against the wall. We both jump back and I fall off the bed. Fuck, that hurt! I prop myself up on my elbows and turn my head to see the intruder and I'm taken back by what I see.

 

Ymir stands in the doorway with tearstained cheeks and bloodstained clothes. What in the world...?

 

"Marco!! I've been looking everywhere for you!!!" Her voice is broken and relived.

 

"Ymir!!!" He jumps off the bed and goes to comfort her, "What happened?! Are you okay?!"

 

"I'm fine, but Marco..." She sniffles, "It's father..."

 

I feel my heart in my throat.

 

"He's been murdered..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHHH SHIT OOOHHHH SHHHHIIITT SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT HOLY SHIT.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, it's official. I butchered this story with this chapter. And I have a feeling you guys are going to hate me after you read this. I felt like I made enough characters and I needed a bad guy soooo... Yup.

The room goes deathly still.

 

Lucius.... Dead? That can't be! Who would want to kill a kind man like him?

 

Marco runs out of the room as soon as he hears the news. Ymir, on the other hand stays in the doorway. She looks in the direction Marco ran off in and then her mouth twists into a venomous smile.

 

She laughs.

 

I know that laughter.

 

"Why."

 

Her laughter stops and she glares daggers at me, "It was you. Why did you kill him?!"

 

The words run down my lips like poison. I knew there was something off about her.

 

She gives me her twisted grin, "One guess."

 

If my glare could get any harder, "You wanted the throne."

 

"You're sharp, Jeany-boy," she walks closer to me. "Gonna have to keep an eye on you."

 

Even though I'm still on the floor, I don't back down. I keep my gaze locked with Ymir's.

 

"Well, hate to break of this lovely chat, but I have some things to check off my list. See you around, Jeany!" She cackles and walks out of the room. I quickly stand up and run out of the room. I need to get as many people as I can. Mainly Marco and Lavanya.

 

I run down the halls and run into someone. We both fall on our asses, "Wher the fuck do you think you're going, Jean?"

 

I look up to see Levi standing up. He dusts his guard uniform off. Ever since he joined the guard, he's had this thing about dirt and dust.

 

I quickly stand up and lead him the other way and whisper to him, "I need to talk to you in private. Now."

 

He doesn't protest. He knows I mean business and what it's about.

 

We walk into the study and I shut the door behind me, "Alright, spill. What do you know?"

 

I look him dead in the eye, "Ymir. It was Ymir."

 

"What?!"

 

"Ymir killed Lucius for the throne. I won't be able to move much because she'll have an eagle's eye out for me. We need to get Marco and Lavanya out of here as quickly as possible."

 

"What about tonight? I'll be able to get the palace guard to sneek you three out. Where you thinking about taking anyone else?"

 

"Tonight will be too risky. Ymir will probably be scouting the halls herself to make sure that I won't be wondering the halls. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who caught her. And Lavanya and Marco would be too upset to leave."

 

"Wait. You saw her kill him?"

 

"No. She laughed," I paused as Levi's eyes went wide. "She showed signs of complete insanity."

 

Us gladiators have seen this happen once or twice. Sometimes after a newbie makes his first kill, it'll trigger something deep inside them and they'll go completely mad. And after that, the only thing they'll yern for is bloodshed. Kill after kill after kill. It turns out Ymir is one of those people.

 

"If that's the case," Levi rushes past me and to the door. "We're taking the risk. You three are leaving tonight. I'll personally escort you out of the city. Then you're on your own."

 

Levi yanks the door open and rushes down the hall. I look to the ceiling, "What am I going to do now?"

 

"Maybe I could help?" I whip around to see Armin sitting at one of the tables. Shit. How did I not see him?

 

"I know what you're thinking: 'Shit. Shouldn't he be running toward the scene like everyone else?' Well I was about to make my way there when you and Levi barged in and solved the murder. I can help you find a place to go." Armin pulls out a map and unrolls it onto the table. I come closer to get a good look.

 

Armin takes a pencil off the table, "Here is Rome," he circles where it is. "Follow the river and cross it midway," he draws a line along and across the river. "And continue to follow the river until you reach a town named Perugia. It's a very crowded city. Thus, making the search for you more difficult. And if Ymir sends dogs after you, crossing the river throws your scent off."

 

He rolls up the map and gives it to me. "I can't thank you enough, Armin."

 

"No worries, Jean. I've noticed Ymir has gotten more impatient with her lessons lately and this makes sense. I will keep you updated with letters flown by Lyra. I know Marco would want to take her with you."

 

"Thank you, Armin." I feel relived. Armin shoos me out and I head back to my room. This is just too much. What will Rome fall into under Ymir's rule?

 

I trap a few other things in my room. A pencil and my notebook. I also grab the red rose Marco gave me and press it in the blank pages in the back of the notebook. I place everything back on the table. One of two things could happen tonight.

 

We escape or we die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is. Probably the death of this story. If you want me to continue or not, just say so in the comments and please don't hold anything back. Give me everything you got.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Yeah, I didn't really want to write more, but it just sorta happened. This story isn't through yet I guess.

Night has come and Marco and I get things ready. Ymir is already moving on with her plan and I wasn't prepared for it. She pinned the murder on her mother and thrown Lavanya to rot in the palace dungeon. I'm going to need Levi's help for a bit longer than planned.

 

We meet Levi by the stables and explain what has happened.

 

"You've got to be fucking kidding me..." He groans and runs his hand down his face, "You two stay in the stables in case you need a quick get-away. I'll go fetch Lavanya."

 

Levi leaves and I look over to Marco. He's stoking Lyra's back feathers while she's held in his arms. I feel terrible. Here we are, the night of his father's murder and I'm taking him away. He didn't even have a chance to say goodbye.

 

I want to comfort him, but I know he won't except it. I forced him to push on when I shouldn't have. He's in so much despair and there's nothing I can do but keep him out of danger.

 

Levi eventually comes back with Lavanya in chains. Once we're all inside the stables, he frees her. Marco sets Lyra on the ground and embraces his mother. They both silently cry. All I can do is watch and feel my heart breaking.

 

My attention is pulled away when Levi pats my shoulder a few times to get me to follow. I do and he tells me which horses to take. The ones he's chosen are already saddled and ready to go. We both mount our horses and Levi gets Marco's and Lavanya's attention, "It's time to go."

 

I give Levi the map and we head off. He's agreed to come until we have to cross the river.

 

We ride for the entire night and none of us says a word. The only sound that is made are the ones coming from the horses and the occasional beating of Lyra's wings.

 

When the sun peaks over the horizon, we come across a bridge. "I know you were supposed to swim across the river," Levi says as we stop, "but this is safer and the trail leads right to Perugia."

 

He wishes us luck and leaves. We cross the bridge and follow the trail. The surrounding area is mostly flat land with a few farms and trees here and there. Besides that it's completely barren grassland.

 

Marco quickens his horse's speed a bit to catch up with me, "Jean. Didn't you say that it would be difficult to get out of the palace?"

 

I stay silent for a bit. "I did."

 

"Then how come we were able to easily walk out and Levi casually let my mother go?"

 

Huh, so Levi noticed it too. I shouldn't be surprised. All gladiators and former gladiators have very sharp senses. I turn my gaze to Marco. My eyes hard and serious, "Marco, are you sure you want to know the answer to that question? It might be a bit hard to swallow."

 

He returns my gaze, prepared. "Yes."

 

"Ymir let us go."

 

His face falls, like I knew it would. "W-What?"

 

"She was watching us the whole time. She's playing with us, like a cat with a mouse. It's like a game to her."

 

Marco just stares at me in disbelief. He never thought that his older sister had so much evil in her. I don't blame him, she hid it well.

 

I look ahead again, "Marco." He snaps out of his daze. "Are you ready for a war?"

 

"We've been ready." I hear Lavanya's voice coming up from behind me and to my right. Now it's my turn to be shocked. I look at her and she gives me a sad and knowing smile. "We've all thought that Rome has been on top for too long and we planned on destroying it from the inside out. Slowly and quietly. But we were still prepared. Unfortunately, it turns out Ymir had other plans..."

 

She hangs her head a bit. What am I hearing? This doesn't make sense.

 

"It's true." I look over to Marco. "Everyone in the palace, of except Erwin, were slaves or gladiators. And there's so many more that we have saved and freed. You and your friends were no exception."

 

I'm completely dumbfounded. I was some part of a plan? I feel my insides burn with anger. "I was part of a plan? You used me?!"

 

Marco begins to panic, "Jean, that's not-"

 

"I don't give a rat's ass if that's what you meant or not. I put all of my fucking trust into you. I let you sweep me off my feet like a damned moron! I actually _believed_ you when you said you loved me! Now you sit here and tell me that was all planed out? Why don't you just throw me back into the arena? Huh? I think having a sword driven through my chest would hurt a lot less than this." I give my horse the command to run at full speed. Tears begin to well up in my eyes. No. I won't show weakness. I should've known better.

 

I don't look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T_T 
> 
> Why do I do this to myself?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wat...
> 
> 901 hits....
> 
> No....
> 
> It... Can't be...
> 
> Impossible...
> 
> I swear, if I find any fanart of this story I'm going to cry. It's bad enough that I feel sick just looking at the number of hits. It keeps going up and I don't understand why. I'm not even that good of a writer! I just do it for the hell of it!
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Let's see what stupid shit Jean got into this time.

I took a wrong turn somewhere...

I was too busy scolding myself for being a complete fool to even notice where I was going and got my pathetic ass lost. Now what?

I continue looking around. I'm pretty sure it's about noon now and I'm going to starve if I don't find myself some nourishment.

I'm such a dumbass.

I can't even follow a fucking trail, let alone find myself some food. Levi would have my head for this.

Fuck.

I continue on for what felt like hours, which was probably a few minutes, I come across what looks like an abandoned farm house. This could be promising. I get off my horse and let it graze. The place looks like it's been sitting here for a thousand years, I knock on the door anyway.

No answer.

I knock a little harder and the door falls into the house with a loud thud. I take it there's no one home.

I walk in and the place is in shambles. Small plants are growing in various places, dead leaves from the trees have fallen through holes in the roof and are laid to rest on the dust floor, and the wood that was once part of the roof have landed inside the home. Making it hard to walk around. I can see a doorway on the other side of what I presume to be the kitchen. I tiptoe my way around the wooden beams. If I trip and fall I might bring the whole house down on top of me.

I safely make it to the other side of the room. I'm surprised I survived, but then again, look at all the shit I've already gone through.

I look through the doorway into a short hallway. This house looked smaller from the outside and it has like four different rooms.

I open one of the doors and come across a shit ton of old animal hides and hunting equipment. So these people were hunters, huh? Let's hope some of their stuff is still good.

I try not to bother the hides that are hanging from the ceiling. Again might bring down the whole house if I bother them. I look through some of the equipment and find a couple sheathed knives. Will sharp and clean thanks to the sheathe protecting them. I take the two knives and scavenge some more.

Well, I'll be damned.

A bow. I found a bow and a quiver of maybe fifteen to twenty arrows. And the string is still in perfect condition. Today is my lucky day. Looks like I will eat tonight.

I've used a bow plenty of times in the arena. These things are fucking life savers.

I put the quiver and the bow over my shoulder and carefully take a few deer hides off the wall. They're pretty stiff, but should still earn a shiny penny when I get into town..... That is if I can find it.

I don't need to look into the other rooms, I've got what I need.

I tiptoe my way out of the house again and strap the hides to my horse's back. I place the knives in the pouch of the sadle along with my notebook. I get on my horse and remove the bow from my shoulder. That way if I see a rabbit or something, I'll be able to shoot it quicker.

If only I had a map to tell me where I am.

That's it!

I'm such an idiot!

Armin's words flow back to me. I need to follow the river!

But....

Where is the river?

I tug on the reins to get the horse to move and head back the way I came.

If all fails, follow your footsteps.

And learn from your mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is folks.
> 
> Jean.
> 
> You are a moron.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD JUST OVER 1000 HITS?! I MUST BE DREAMING. But, seriously thank you! I feel a bit queezy.. How? I'm no author but more of an artist. I'm better with scribbles than words. I'm just writing for the hell of it. I said that already, did I? Oh well. I'm sorry it took a little longer to update, I've had this chapter written down for a while and just never posted it. Oops. And I will apologize in advance, I make a lot of comments in this chapter, so please ignore my ramblings. Enjoy Chapter 17! ^^

After what seemed to be all day, I finally make it into town. I sell the deer pelts and now I have a bit of money. I just hope it's enough to find a place to sleep for the night.

 

The air of the city is thick with sadness. Everyone I pass have devastated looks on their faces, but once they catch sight me, their expression turns to one of fear and slight terror. Why are they looking at me like that? I continue riding into town.

 

I finally come across an Inn. ~~(A/N: This is fan fiction. Get over it.)~~ I lead my horse to the attached stable. ~~(A/N: Again, get over it. I'm getting annoying now. I'll get out of your face.)~~ They're aren't very many other horses which I find a bit strange. I thought this city was on a popular trade route. And places like these would have more residents. Strange.I walk inside and met with a sight I'm not prepared to see.

 

Connie, Sasha, Reiner, Bertholdt, Eren, Lavanya, and Marco ~~(A/N: Don't for get Lyra too! Lol.)~~ are all in the lobby talking quietly among themselves until Marco sees me enter. I quickly dash out again before he catches up with me. I know he will. I don't want to deal with him.

 

"Jean! Please! Hear me out!" Marco calls out to me once he realizes I'm headed to the stables. I'm going to find another place for the night.

 

I mount my horse and Marco quickly comes and closes the door to the stall before I can get out. "Was stopping me from true freedom part of your plan as well?"

 

He looked really hurt after I said that. He looked upset before, but now, it's pure pain. Like I stabbed him in the chest. He looks down, "I know what I said earlier hurt-"

 

"Really now? What gave you that fucking idea?"

 

"-but you didn't let me finish." I stay silent after that. "Yes, getting two of the best gladiators was part of the plan. Yes, we knew that two from the same cell would be pinned against each other. But falling for you was not expected at all. Jean, please. I love you. How much more do I have to prove myself?"

 

He breaks down after that. He doesn't sob. He doesn't sniffle or anything. He just stays silent as he opens the stall door again. Quiet tears slowly run down his cheeks, "If you still want to leave, you can and I won't try to follow you this time. We most likely won't cross paths again. You'll be truly free."

 

He's willing to let me go? Why? What is letting me leave going to prove?

 

We both sit in silence for what seems like forever and Marco speaks up again, "Jean. I want you to be happy. I'm not going to hold you back. If you think you'll be happier with me, then stay. If you think you'll be better off alone, then go. It's your choice."

 

I sit there for a bit. Not really thinking, but letting Marco's words sink in. They make my stomach churn. I was lucky the first time I ran off, it most likely won't happen again. And if it weren't for Marco, I'd still be in the arena. Still fighting or probably dead. I would've never learned to read or write...

 

That's it!

 

I hop off my horse and open up the saddle pouch. I take out my notebook and hand it to Marco. The last time he had a good look at it was the day I met Lyra. I've kept it hidden ever since then. He flips through it one page at a time and looks at it in slight shock. Most of the pages are full of sketches of him. Marco stops once he sees the pressed rose in the back of the book. Most of the color from the petals have stained the pages, but you can still tell that it once was red. He looks up at me in disbelief.

 

"That's the same red rose that you gave me the day you first told me you loved me. Marco, I'm sorry. I-" He doesn't let me finish. He quickly embraces me. He doesn't say anything, just hugs me. I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him back. I feel better now. I belong in his arms as well as Marco belongs in mine. I never realized that I'd miss his touch after a whole day.

 

We let go and Marco intertwines his fingers through mine and rests his forehead against mine, "It's late," he speaks kindly and softly. "We should go inside and head to bed, don't you think?"

 

I agree and he hands me back my notebook. I take it and we both go in the Inn. ~~(A/N: ???????)~~ I let go of his hand before everyone else sees. I don't know if he's ready to tell our friends about us yet. Or maybe they already know. I have no idea.

 

"Why are all of you here?" That's the first thing that comes out of my mouth when Marco and I enter. "Shouldn't you still be at the palace?"

 

"News travels fast and once we heard you guys left, we hightailed and followed you," Reined speaks for everyone. "And you are in deep shit, my friend."

 

"What did Ymir do?" My words come out like a snake's hiss, threatening and harsh.

 

"She framed you three for the murder of the Emperor and she's also got hunters on your- No, our tails. She wasn't expecting us to leave and she's furious."

 

I wasn't expecting that, either. She let Marco, Lavanya, and me go, but everyone else followed us without a rhyme or reason. Looks like this war is going to start sooner than anticipated.

 

"Alright. Here's what we're gonna do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again. And I just realized Jean running off like that was utterly pointless but it's too late now. Enjoy your frustrating cliffhanger! :P


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're getting there. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Jean?" I look over to Marco. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

 

I shrug my shoulders, "What other choice do we have? It's not like we can sit on the sidelines and watch everything burn."

 

"That doesn't mean we have to fan the flames. We can get out of the country and live better lives, we don't have to fight."

 

Wait a minute. "I thought your family was prepared for war?"

 

Marco huffs slightly, "Just because we were ready, doesn't mean we want to." He pulls me closer, "I don't want to loose anymore loved ones... I don't want to loose you, Jean."

 

I drape my arms over his shoulders and look Marco in the eye, "I might be a fool, but I know a fight when I see one. Ymir is pulling us into this and she's not gonna let go. We have to. This empire is going to collapse and we'll be the ones to tear it down. And besides, I've been in an arena for two years and I made it out alive. It'll take a lot more than multiple men with weapons to bring me down."

 

"You're right." He looks down and then back up with a mischievous grin. Oh no.

 

He playfully tackles me down to the bed. I land gently on my back and Marco hovers over me. I place my hands on either side of his head and pull him down to me. Our lips meet once again. I'll never get over how soft his lips are. We pull apart and I run my fingers through his dark hair slowly. It feels silky and soft. Marco hums and leans into my touch. 

 

"Did I ever tell you that your freckles remind me of the stars in the night sky?" 

 

"Really? How so?" Marco smiles and leans in a little more. I know he's playing dumb. Who wouldn't?

 

"If I could, I would take each one off and throw them into the sky and name the constellation after you. And when people look to the heavens, they'll see you and all of their fears will vanish. I can see citizens offering you the finest foods and wines and you'll give them hope."

 

He chuckles, "You're making me sound like some kind of god of dreams."

 

"You're way more than a god to me." I pull him down to me with barely a breath's space, "You're my savior. You're my love."

 

"So much talk from the man who ran off this morning thinking he was some kind of pawn." Marco gets this cocky grin on his face and I slightly push him away.

 

"I was trying to be romantic and you ruined it." I let my own smile seep through. "I'm starting to think my asshole-yness is rubbing off on you."

 

"If it would make you feel better, I could act like Eren."

 

"Please no. And if you do, you're sleeping in the hall tonight. I'm serious this time."

 

Marco settles down next to me, "Okay, okay. I'll stop. But only if you come closer."

 

I comply and snuggle into him and his arms automatically wrap around my midsection. I love the feeling of his arms around me. It soothes and calms me. I breathe in his scent. It's a bit musky from riding, but it's still sharp and unique as ever.

 

"I'm serious though," Marco says quietly and I look up at him. "I don't want to loose you in anyway shape or form. And if we really go through with this plan... There's a huge chance that one of us or all of us are going to die. I don't want to think about it, but I just can't. What if you die? I couldn't live with myself. And what if I die? What would happen then?"

 

His eyes aren't looking at me but to the wall behind me, distant in thought and fear. I intertwine my fingers with his and pull our hands between our chests. He looks at me after I do so. "Nothing's going to happen because we'll either make it through this alive or we die together like this. Face to face and hands locked between our hearts. No exceptions. We're in this together and I'll always be by your side. Even after death comes to claim us."

 

Marco smiles and kisses the hairline on my forehead, "I love you, Jean. And I'm with you all the way."

 

I return his smile and peck him on his lips, "Thank the heavens. Now let's get some sleep."

 

We both blow out the candles on each side of the bed and drift off with our hands still between us.

 

My dreams are filled with Marco and me dancing in the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two. UGH. THESE TWO FUCKING DORKS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME. FUCK.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Guess who's back from the dead! This story is getting harder and harder, I swear. I know where I want it to go, but I'm having a hard time getting there. You know what I mean? Well, anyway. Here's a shit chapter that literally took FUCKING MONTHS to write.

 

This is it.

 

I have no idea how this will play out for us, but we need more followers than just the six of us.

 

Marco has already sent Lyra off with a letter to Armin saying that it might be one of the last for a while and that we'd need to keep a dirt-low profile. This is more terrifying than living in the arena. Not only are we going back, but we are also going to basically rip it apart. I feel sick. My hands begin to tremble around the reins. Marco reaches over and grabs them to calm me down, "You're okay. Nothing will happen. I'm right here."

 

I nod and inhale deeply. I can't believe this. I know this is originally my plan, but it's still nerve wracking. I feel my heart banging against my ribcage. I'm a moron. Why do I put myself in these situations?

 

We've stopped at the entrance of the coliseum. It's deathly quite. No roaring citizens, no yelling from guard, nothing. Something's off.

 

We head in regardless. I don't like this at all. I feel like we're walking right into a trap. I wonder if Reiner, Bertholdt, and Eren feel it too. If they do, they're not showing it.

 

We carefully creep into the holding area. It's even quieter in here than outside. I try not to move my hood around too much as I take in my surroundings. No guards at the entryway. That's definitely strange.

 

"Alright," I whisper loud enough so that everyone can hear me. "Something's not right. Let's split up and check all the cells. Yell if something happens or you find something odd."

 

Everyone nods and peels away. I begin checking the cells ahead of me. One by one, cell by cell, they're all empty. Not a single living being -or deceased- to be seen. How can that be? How can Rome's precious gladiators just be _gone_?

 

"I found something!" Marco's voice echoes off the stone walls and we all gather to him. He's at my old cell that I shared with Eren, Levi, Reiner, and Bert. The door's closed, but inside is a slip of paper hanging on the wall with a dagger going through it. I pull on the door to find it open and pull the dagger out off the wall and take the paper. It's a note. All across the paper is the harshest handwriting I've ever seen. It's like the writer wanted their hatred to show through. It's somewhat hard to read with all the ink blots covering the page.

 

My anger boils over once I figure it out.

 

_**'I WIN'** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking of new titles and I think 'From Gladiators To Rebels/Barbarians' sounds better than 'The Prince and The Gladiator.'


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Chapter 20 already? Honestly, I never thought I would make it this far. This chapter's a bit short, but it gets to the point. I can barely see the light at the end of the tunnel. This might end in a few more chapters. Don't know yet, but we'll find out soon enough I guess.

The note crinkles in my fist. My breathing quickens and my heart pounds angrily against my ribs. My blood burns in my veins and everything goes red. I charge out of the cell not hearing a word anyone says. I swear to the gods if Ymir took all the armor and weapons, I will personally end her with this dagger.

 

I rush to the nearest armory. It looks untouched. I see how it is. I cover myself head to toe in beat-up metal. I cover my recognizable hair with my hood and place a black-plumed helm on my head. I tuck away the dagger in my belt and grab a random sword. The arena usually keeps weapons sharp, so I don't worry about the sword quality.

 

When I hop back on my horse, the world seems to come back a little. Rage still blinds me, but I can hear again. Marco's at my side, screaming, "Jean?! What are you doing?! Please calm down!"

 

I look down at him with cold eyes. He lets go of my saddle and backs away a few steps, surprised by my expression. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to put an end to this. If Ymir is willing to stoop this low and get rid of the rest of the gladiators like this, then she's going to finally see my true colors."

 

"What? You think she killed them all?-"

 

" **I KNOW SHE KILLED THEM ALL!** " Marco jumps from my outburst. " You _don't get it_ , Marco. Yes, I know that some of the gladiators are criminals and war prisoners, but the majority of us were in that arena for absolutely no reason. Farmers who worked hard both night and day to support their families only to be bound in iron and whisked away, never to see their loved ones ever again. Lowly slaves, like myself, thrown into this nightmare because we were born into it. All these things you would never understand because you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You are one of the lucky ones, Marco. And anyway, I have learned to put nothing past Ymir. If she can kill your father, she'll kill anyone."

 

And with that, I ride off. Not bothering with what Marco had to say. He might not see it, but Ymir is a monster that must be stopped. And I'll be the one to show her severed head off to the world.

 

I _will not_ let this slip through my fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep bringing this up, but I HATE the title of this story. It's so dumb. I suck at names and shit. So I need you guys' help. Tell me if anything sounds good, I need suggestions. And anyways, you are the ones reading and giving feedback so why not.


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